Kimi B Ley

From life as a beach bum scuba instructor in a bounty ad., to the joys of englandshire-upon-sewageville...Hugs and I'll blow some bubbles for ya

Monday, October 31, 2005


Bit busy tonight, but did stumble across this webpage which made me some for someone who's down! It is a piss-take on those magnificent sweets LOVEHEARTS (which incidentally I've noticed since my return to yUK, they do a txt message version of, which saddens me somewhat and just isn't the same). So try not lovehearts, but "BitterSweets" ;)

Sunday, October 30, 2005


Please ensure that you are seated in the front 4 carriages if your destination is a really great website link, that cures most ills, or at least makes you laugh a lot about them:

The rear 4 carriages will continue on the track to the past. Just wanted to share a superhappy memory, chelsea v man u on the box, red wine(this was a rarity and luxury in Thailand)...not much more to say, one of the most enjoyable matches I ever watched. It means that these fixtures now are mildly emotional. Like I said one thing associates with another...

Ex marks the spot?

The train leaving from platform 3 is the 01.12 from Brighton to ex-ville.

Yup, am experiencing an odd ressurgence of thought and feeling about the kukskalle. There is no real rhyme or reason for this. In fact I have been attempting to be more adult about the whole situation, and did text him when he was getting his toe grafted to his lack-of-left-thumb to wish him well. There has been the ocassional message since, and to give him his dues when I txted him asking him to alter his plans to visit pp with his micheal jackson lookalikey whore gf, whilst I was there, he did as asked. We even exchanged an email each of late...he kindly told me that he has no hard feelings and never did...and I have managed to restrain myself from replying that of course YOU don't have hard feelings, I never did anything to you.(Well other than write about him and publish it in this blog, but since he doesn't know that eh?...) Ah "good old fashioned, righteous anger. Bottled bile. Canned gall. Draught choler" (another Will Self offering).

Am mildly perplexed by this weeks pre-occupation with him, that beautiful fucked-up man 6000miles away, who is consistently an ass to me. The thoughts are obviously more realistic this far down the track, yet still WTF?! I mean obviously I am fully aware that he is a lying, cheating c**ting f*ckpig and I would be unable to touch him with hazardous waste gloves on knowing where he's been, nor trust him ever about anything. But I've been experiencing those odd moments where I've thought of him fondly this past week, remembered sitting in comfy chair eating prawn garlic pepper whilst taking part in the endurance test that is a series of 24 (jack bauer) marathon sesh, remembered those completely random, made-up bullshite conversations about nothing. I've been missing him...or rather a him from about 3 years ago.Dunno, just real insight or observation on the subject...merely aware of a bizarre shift this last week.

Maybe returning to no contact at all may be for the best? Dunno, but y'day freaky coincidence I was watching season 4 of 24, and txted him...and he was watching it too...

Cowboys n Indians

Had a fabulous chat (IM) with my belguim cowboy who was over visiting with and sharing the peace pipe with his indian (well Finnish) friend recently. That belguim cowboy a.k.a. tantric waffle and indian, jack...bless how they make me smile. Miss ya biatches!!!!

Flight of Ideas

I have this tonight, so am likely to digress all over the shop (hopefully it won't be too messy, a mop is at the standby). Sooo many trains of thought to it that I am inundated with genius or that I am quite ditsy? Dammit, you know I think in some ways I'm becoming more girly, surely not...I absent from such a position, rank and protocol demand,nay dictate, that I remain a creature of logic, reason and alcohol with a glaze of hippychick to enhance the dish!!!

I do appear to have been suffering from a bout of mild mood complications with lethargic to hibernation-like tendencies this past week. Could it be the winter-funk setting in? Even tho the weather isn't that vile yet?

"I haven't exactly lost interest, but I've collapsed into a state which I can only call a colourless stupidity of indifference" - Will Self (ooo, might add him to my dinner dream team)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

New coat.

The Silver Vixen (or ma as I like to call her), nipped over to a blustery Brighton during the week, on a mission of great import (I realise this is subjective, but it's also my blog). The mission entailed the locating and purchase of the warmest possible, waterproof winter coat. Perhaps now you see the import, altho I had promised myself I would only endure one winter back in englandshire, it has become apparent that one more is in order, so its best to be prepared mentally, and stock up on provisions and equipment at this juncture. I am a ma-hussive fan of tropical weather especially during the european winter months, I was one of those hideous peeps that email folks back in england telling them that I'm on the beach and its 37 degrees..such exhilarating smugness! I get cold easy, and still await the invention of an electric blanket style winter coat, with down inside...akin to wearing a duvet, or a drysuit filled with hot water bottles. I am willing to be someone's muse...I understand the charger for such a coat could present problems but... something somewhere was conspiring to surprise and delight me, for in O'Neill's I happened across a rather lush kiwi-yum! He noticed my tattoos, gave good advice, blah, ma was there. My ma is ubercool but any ability I had to come out with good lines dissolved in her presence...I felt as if I was about 13 and watching tv with my parents and sex came on!

Anyhoo, we returned to the shop after a wee bite to eat, having decided that that was indeed one sophisticated dowhackey of a jacket. In a somewhat tricky manouevre I had acquired a small piece of paper and pen in a different shopping haven and penned a non-chalant message to mr kiwi, on the off-chance y'know. So after purchasing the jacket of warmth,style and beauty, I attempted to surreptitiously pass him this folded piece of paper, a lil like a dodgy drug deal or something. Actually I felt a bit like an american movie character, slipping some fella my hotel doorkey ;) So, to my horror he started to unfold said message in front of me asking what this was? Slightly embarrassing. I informed him that the general idea was to wait until I had left, so that I could save my blushes, and he could laugh with the other peeps in the shop , or call me later, and I'd still have my dignity intact. O well, too late for that eh? Fortunately he did either a good impression, or actually was pleasantly surprised and excited! He told me that this was all pretty cool, and that he was away for a few days but did I want to go out next week! Aaaah!!!So que sera,sera...he could have been letting me down nicely, but I guess we'll see in the next week eh?

Semi-sitcom tho, I don't know his name, and I never did the dating thing..always just ended up with friends. I've seen what dating is allegedly like if I believe american tv shows (which obviously I'm far too intelligent to do) and I'm not buying into that my pretties...what you see is what you get! But fingers crossed, could be a pleasant diversion for the wintery months, always nice to share a bottle of red with someone. So yup, considering N.Z.

Interesting Hypothesis?

Whelk and I have for some time been ruminating on the lesser known effects of our dear companion alcohol. Our hypothesis is that the more alcohol you consume, the quicker and more prolific your eyebrows grow. Now we are currently unaware whether this is a purely female peculiarity, or exists across the board. Furthermore we remain unsure as to the mechanisms or function of this observation. Allegedly eyebrows (along with lashes) are designed to prevent sweat,dust and foreign bodies entering the eyes; are we more likely to sweat when drinking? Probably if in a club. What about dust? I s'pose so if you are drinking to levels of falling down, then you could be more susceptible to dust entering the eyes. Foreign bodies?Now this is a somewhat vague term methinks, if we take it in a literal sense, then I must admit to being on a 'finding foreign men rather lush' trip at the moment, and am probably more likely to engage in interaction with them at times of alcohol consumption, but I certainly don't have some strange perversion for putting their bodies in my eyes.

This increased growth is most inconvenient...requiring extra pluckage of the mutant brow hairs, at a time when shaky, hangover hands are not at their most nimble...must ask the author of ditsy chronicles,, what she thinks, as an expert in pluckology and faffology.

I feel that more global research and scientific experimentation and findings are in order, so let me know how you go fellow pioneers!

On a disparate train of thought, I just remembered the time in my life when cranberries (the fruit) forever became crudberry...a mere slip of the tongue from whelk one pseudo-stoned evening more than 6 years back. A much more appropriate word.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Diving: courtesy of the scubapussy.

Okay, so you are about to witness my scubapussy alter-ego, the scuba samurai: Instructor Lovely ;)

(Apologies in advance if this becomes mildly gushy)

When I lived over on Phi Phi, I was a bit of a dive shop slut, in that I worked for Aquanauts, Seafrog, Hippo and Visa Diving Centre over my time there. However, whilst all the dive shops and schools on pp are of a high standard, and all comply to a price agreement system, With professional, caring, multi-lingual staff, my personal favourite was always Visa Diving.

For further info. please contact:

We used to have 2 shops on the island; a shop on the main street, and one by Cabana Hotel. The latter unfortunately was washed away and destroyed by the tsunami, along with a much-loved staff member, an English instructor called Matt. The street shop has been cleaned up, the debris removed and is now fully operational again, and managed these days by my dear friend Svenska. In fact a couple of students that I had taught right through from open water to dive master, have since completed their instructor exams and are working there, which makes me kinda proud.

Some of the old school Visa Diving crew

Diving, perhaps it’s just a socially acceptable and applauded reason to adorn black rubber everyday in a professional capacity? Well, I was fortunate enough to get my fix again…so let’s go down on that small buoy over there eh? ;)

Bida Nai

Bida Nai: this was always one of my favourite local dive sites, I almost consider it like my back garden I know it so well. I love the variety within this one site, from staghorn coral, to pinnacles, to wall diving, to fantasy reef and gorgonian seafans about the size of me…something for everyone. It was leopard shark mating season whilst I was over visiting (or the start of anyway..), and as such the leopard sharks had ditched their usual behaviour as bottom-dwellers sleeping and sifting plankton on the sand during the daylight, into active, flirty sharks, twisting around each other, displaying their white bellies…basically there was a whole lot of underwater loving going on, and it’s a beautiful sight to behold. On this particular dive I saw 5 different leopard sharks indulging in this foreplay-like display, gracefully floating, gliding and twisting round each other.

Diving is an experience difficult to elucidate. It is immensely tranquil, the sensation of weightlessness, and the sound of your own breathing (or rather the bubbles being released from your regulator each time you exhale) leads to an almost meditative state once you have reached a proficiency with diving where it is second nature. Tropical diving, or in particular diving the west coast of Thailand, is like someone turned up the saturation settings on your eyes, this amazing collage and myriad of tropical colours, brighter than we tend to see on land is accessible to you just a few meters under the surface. The sheer perfection, fluorescence and vibrancy of the pinks, reds, purples, yellows, blues, greens etc., leaves one feeling blessed, wishing to soak in every minute of this world so near to our own, yet so very different.

The dive sites around Ko Phi Phi offer a vast array of marine life: corals, soft and hard, sponges and vases, seafans, staghorn coral, bubble coral, brain coral…at points resembling icing on a cake as it rises in pinnacles, or covers a wall or spreads across the reefs. To regularly swim alongside the semi-clumsy hawksbill turtles; leopard sharks, bamboo sharks, black tip reef sharks (along with the occasional remora hitching a ride on their backs); the seasnakes gliding and slithering effortlessly; oriental sweetlips; emperor angelfish, parrotfish, anemone and damsel fish; crabs in their many guises (hermit, porcelain, red…), lobsters, barracudas, tuna, groupers, trevellies; tigertail seahorses amongst the rocks and pinnacles or behind a seafan…believe me the list could continue. To witness shoals of hundreds or thousands of fish, yellow, black, silver, fusiliers etc, all moving as if choreographed, in unison…mmmm, makes you wistful eh? And this is not forgetting the tiny cleaner and boxer shrimps at their cleaning stations, the moray eels (giants, honeycombed, white-eyed etc.), and the beauty and perfection and variety found amongst the nudibranchs, (they may well be known as sea slugs but believe there is no aesthetic comparison with the land-based blighters!)

Hawksbill Turtle

Anemone Fish ( the paupers)

Porcelain Crab

Hermit Crab

Tigertail Seahorse

A few nudibranchs...cute eh?

From Maya Corner with its series of swimthroughs which are shrouded by glassfish, lionfish and scorpionfish, to the beauty of the Bida islands, Phi Phi marine park is spectacular and maintains a temp. of between 27 and 30 degree water year-round. The dive sites Have been blessedly unaffected by the tsunami. The night dives now however offer the chance to descend down the line into the shell or frame of one of the A-Frame bungalows that was wiped into the sea by the tsunami, so if you’re out that way, request to night dive the sunken cottage, already starting to become an artificial reef and host.

There is more on offer still, Phi Phi being one of the nearest islands if you wish to dive the King Cruiser wreck, Phuket Shark Point and Anemone Reef, or the 5 star world-renowned Hin Deang and Hin Muang. I was fortunate enough to have been diving on pp whilst it was still possible to penetrate the wreck, to dive in through the car deck, along up the stairs and along the corridors to the captain’s cabin. Whilst this is no longer possible due to some strong monsoons causing structural damage, it is still an atmospheric and enjoyable deep dive.

Hin Deang, Hin Muang, well it's difficult to capture their essence in words, but these are the deepest drop-offs in Thailand, and being 60kms out they are open ocean/sea sites, with the accompanying large pelagics and proliferation of red and purple soft corals…they are my idea of an underwater eden. At certain times of the year these sites host the holy grail for most divers- the Whaleshark!!!! I have been fortunate enough to have seen 3 on a single dive out there. So majestic and immense. And there is regularly my personal favourite, the manta ray. Believe me I could go right off on one about manatas( and will some time), but I’ll leave that for another time my diving divas.

Manta Moment!

Diving is one of the main economies on Ko Phi Phi, the dive industry employing many local thai people as boat captains, boat boys, DM’s, instructors, to maintain equipment, to fill tanks etc., not to mention that the hotels and bungalows the divers stay in, the food they eat, the bars they visit are run, owned and loved by the locals. And to my knowledge it is one of the cheaper places to learn, or just to fun dive. Basically get your boney, white, wintery asses out there, and dive! The instructors, dive masters, other divers you meet and experience this with, that introduce you to this world below the surface will blow your minds, I promise…we are lovin’ it!

Ok, time for a safety stop…5 meters, 3 minutes!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Passport Stamps - It doesn't just rain, it pours.

Visa Runs / New Passport Stamps.

Ok, so there were a few brief stop-overs:

Germany (but I appeared to think I was in france, and as such was conversing in the wrong language)

Holland (lots of fun, and boy can the dutch drink)

As for short breaks, what can a girl say!

I ventured back to the UK, but found this to be predictable, average and left feeling somewhat disappointed, as if I needn't really have invested the effort or time. (Should know better Kimi)

California, however was an altogether different holiday experience. California...knows how to party! Definitely one of my favourite places, hot and sweaty and some rugged terrain...kinda like an adventure holiday, energetic, a lil exhausting, but every minute an experience, fighting to keep up. I find the natives to be most attentive, accomodating, and exceptional at oreinteering...they really know their way around. In fact I enjoyed myself sufficiently that I may go exploring out that way again early next year.

Pretty,Sawai, Vacker, Jolie

Ok, maybe not all that exciting for the stereotypical generalised male reader, but I'm a nature loving hippy chick, and these are the kinda sights on pp that make me smile.

Update on Ko Phi Phi for those that knew the area

Just a few piccies, for those that may know pp. The island is looking heaps better, and I s'pose it's not such a shock when you've seen it in a worse state. There is now greenery again, and there's been a lot of planting, there's a temporary community memorial garden (whilst a permanent one is being created). There is still deadlock between the landowners and the government, and as such nothing new can be built still, however repairs to what remained upright after the tsunami are mainly completed. There is now an undercurrent of hope again on the island, a future.

Stood looking towards where V-Shop once stood.

What remains of Twin Palm Resort, and Plutos.

Looking down one of the main streets. To your right would have been the V-shop and Sale Pepe.

This is taken, stood with the resevoir to your right, and Rimna Villas to your left. Again it is what remains of the repaired Armena guest house, and you can see right through to Loh Dalum.

Standing with your back to Loh Dalum..the first buildings that remained standing are the right of the picture with the green roof is what remains of Armena, with Rimna Villas just behind. There is nothing until here.

My Birthday...not quite 30 yet!

Well, time to get off my lazy ass and remember my birthday.

A lot of my friends are swedish, and therefore your birthday starts at midnight...(its just an excuse to be mortal for 24 hours).

I had a beautiful, happy, happy, joy, joy day thanks to my friends.

We started, as one always should, with a champagne breakfast..Turtle, Vixen, West, Svenska and's such a pleasant buzz..mmm.

West and I then hired a longtail and went out diving at Bida Nok, very chilled and proper thai stylie (also a good excuse for a girlie gossip on the way out).

Svenska and Ko had then arranged a fabulous and delicious fish bar-be-que, accompanied by fine friends, happy birthday sung in 3 languages, much beer and red wine, whilst watching the sunset.

Then off to Carlitos Bar, where Carl, Malou, Steena and Annette had put up balloons and signs for me...and just generally made me feel special and spoilt (Tack min vannen). I also got a cake, which ended up over everyone, there were bendy balloons, many silly songs (hey monika, birdy song etc.) and excessive and primarily free alcohol.

Midnight...just as the bday starts.

Hmmm...looking good Kimi

Honestly, we are stone cold sober (fingers are crossed)

Svenska and me, awaiting our delicious fish bbq.

Moet...mmmm. Oh and Turtle, vixen, svenska and her kitten cc...breakfast!

Moet...for breakfast? West n vixen hiding behind not so subtle sunglasses

Ko working hard on the bbq...mmmm

Yum...birthday bbq.Khup khun ka Ko

Carlitos Bar: seen of much bday fun

Carl (the esteemed owner of Carlitos Bar) looking bemused by the festivities. Tack Carl!

Tack so mycket carlitos xx

Malou...isn't she gorgeous! See the calibre of swedish women that work at carlitos! Get your ass over there!

Holly and me, starting to look a lil worse for wear methinks

Svenska och mig

Holly and me (again), am trying not to look drunk...and no really suceeding! It was also kinda warm that evening

The balloon hat strikes does the need for nicotine

Puss! (Means kiss in swedish)