Cordylines

Zyban-ated

Well, am down to 2 cigarettes a day, and to be honest I am only able to smoke about 3 puffs of those before I feel nauseous, start gagging and the eyes start watering.

Am mostly ok, but concentration is poor, lack of nicotine headaches pervade...and I have super-fidgety fingers. Spose really I should take that final step and stop the wake-up ciggie...but feels a lil like saying goodbye to a good, rather constant friend (albeit one that is really quite a bastard to you, two-faced, nice to your face but poisonous really). I'm not missing the other 19 odd that I would ordinarily partake in through the day, but that last one...

Catching up with the family

Caught up with my rather divine family for my ma's birthday...good time all round.

My lil sista n me

Me and my dad, Gorse Fox

Addiction - part trois. Schm-oking...

Okay, and the final act, yup, have finally reached that point where I want to and therefore will stop this particular addiction. And I want to do it before the New Year resolution crowd...I am not a follower!!!And by advertising the fact, and being a proud bitch I'll have to follow it through eh?

Have quite a few thoughts on the subject, have analysed my addiction, am mentally prepared and ready for action...I admit to experiencing mild excitement and nerves at this prospect and have therefore smoking more than usual the last few days, but apparently I need not overly concern myself with this.

I am pretty good at battling the physical addiction, it is the psychological habit and associations that are the bastard for me personally, the habitually lighting up with a cup of tea, with alcohol, after a meal and when bored...So this week I am shaking up my routine a little, smoking with the wrong hand, making myself stand out in the freezing cold to smoke, basically making it as unpleasant as possible, holding off on the first ciggie upon waking...

A further good reason to start this now, I will prob. have to spend a few weeks alcohol free, as I chain-smoke when I drink, resolve weakens with alcohol so I have a bit of time break that before the drinking season of crimbo!!!

Well, don't want to be preachy, so am leaving it at that and will provide ocassional updates, started taking my zyban on friday, ahve a stop smoking nurse... There is no such thing as just the one...thats what I have to remember.

Addiction -part deux

Hmm, cyclical peut-etre, la vie?

Am going to write/gush about a girly matter, so if u happen not to be be one ignore this part... Female Intuition. Have had a 'feeling' for some weeks, regarding addiction/one of my absurdities (KNT) which has now been furnished with proof. That corner of my head occupied with this matter is therefore spreading out somewhat. Contact appears to have been resumed, unsurprising really when I inform one and all that KNT is back on pp and single (which is what I had my 'feeling' about).

Now as hard I endevour not to feel pleased about this turn of events, and marginally smug that my predictions regarding that type of doomed relationship are correct I happen to be secretly (in my mind and blog only) doing exactly that. Suddenly someone that you feel wronged you starts telling you the type of things you would like to hear them say.

Does everyone have that one person with whom they truly believe in a parellel universe things work out very differently? That one with who you regret the circumstances? That one you probably will to infinity have a soft spot, achilles heel for? I think probably so, as long as a person has the capacity for that depth of feeling.

" Raw lack of the manly tumour that surgical circumstance and infidelity had so efficiently excised" Hmm, my cancer...and as I was breaking the habit...relapse prevention required?

So I have resisted pretty well so far, but one can weaken, something may creep over my resolve, and I could succumb at any moment. The effect is strongest there on pp., or when tired, or emotional, or drinking...see, addiction, makes me feel good even though its actually very bad for me. Its this little, tiny shadow of hope, I like that for that moment in time he is thinking of me, seeking reassurance, that I may still hold some significance to him...I have a wish to be the one that he regrets, to remain...pride perhaps? I consider myself a relatively intelligent, rational being, so why do I still get excited, and feel happy each time I receive another text, hmmm illusory in nature? After all I should in fact deride his truth-handling abilities...

This is a strange turn in events especially at a time when I am quite content with my lot, used to and enjoying being my own person, independent.


"There is just so much that time cannot erase."

Addiction - a triptic, part one

"It’s like you’re a drug
It’s like you’re a demon I can’t face down
It’s like I’m stuck
It’s like I’m running from you all the time
And I know I let
You have all the power
It’s like the only company I seek
Is misery all around

It’s like you’re a leach
Sucking the life from me
It’s like I can’t breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you
Have all the power
And I realize I’m never gonna
Quit you over time

It’s like I’m lost
It’s like I’m giving up slowly
It’s like you’re a ghost
That’s haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in
My head are mine alone
And I know I’ll never change my ways
If I don’t give you up now

I’m hooked on you
I need a fix,
I can’t take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I’ll handle it, quit it
Just one more time,
then that’s it
Just a little bit more to get me through this"

Theme du jour...addiction. Prefer not to do the song lyrics in a blog thang but....just but.

Pop Art? Na, don't think so...

Justification...of just about anything.

I have been looking to justify my current or preferred lifestyles, by which I mean tracking down the positive health benefits. Here are some of my favs. and a few random ones that appealed:

• Have a pint: Beer has the same cancer-busting antioxidants as red wine.
• Drink wine: A daily glass of red wine could cut your risk of heart disease by a quarter.(Kimi comment: I'm sure that after that daily glass, I could convince myself that if I had 4 glasses then I could cut the risk entirely;-))
• Get passionate: Sex lowers cholesterol levels, boosts blood circulation and releases endorphins
• Stuff chocolate: Harvard university boffins discovered that eating a couple of bars of chocolate a week could extend your life by almost a year.
• Get out there: sunlight converts cholesterol in skin to vitamin D, vital for healthy bones. (Kimi comment: and you look better, feel more relaxed, seratonin levels are elevated...back to the tropics as oon as those debts are cleared!)
• Get Married: A happy marriage lengthens life expectancy. (Kimi comment: however an unhappy one or divorce will drastically shorten it I suspect. Also suspect that if ur spouse is incredibly rich the incentive to outlive them for the inheritance may increase it)
• Stay faithful: Three-quarters of cases of sudden death during sex were people having affairs.
• Eat brocolli: Its rich in isothiocyanate which helps the body get rid of cancer-causing chemicals.(Kimi comment: no idea what this one's going on about and I hate brocolli, but it leads nicely into a ridiculous tale from my married days...my mother-in-law enjoyed having the family over for sunday roasts, for which she would buy frozen veg., and over-cook it until it ressembled a grenny-greyish mush. Trying to please her, as you do at the start of a relationship, I forced a few mouthfulls of evil brocolli down, and when she was not looking,tipped the remainder of it onto hubby's plate. Problem was, because it disappeared so quickly from my plate she became convinced that brocolli was my favourite veg!!! This mistake therefore became a regular occurence and was shared with the rest of the family apart from mother-in-law and cook, so we all became complicit in hiding this from her...this lasted 4 years!! I had to continue the charade, since 2, 3, 4 years through knowing someone you can't tell them that you never liked brocolli, and humiliate them can you?)
• Michigan university found that people who are kind to pals and colleagues halve their risk of dying young. (Kimi comment: this study was performed in the U.S. where it is acceptable to possess a gun, therefore it probably is more important than in the yUK to be kind to pals, schoolmates, colleagues so as to survive full stop...maybe thats why many english find the american 'have a nice day' thing a little forced and superficial?)
  

Super-saturated dahlia

Loy Kratong - Thai festival

Held on the full moon night of the twelfth lunar month (usually in November) - 17th this year.

Loy Kratong is probably the most picturesque and beautiful of all Thai celebrations. 'Loy' literally means 'to float,' while 'kratong' refers to the lotus-shaped receptacle which can float on the water. Originally, the kratong was made of banana leaves or the layers of the trunk of a banana tree or a spider lily plant. A kratong contains food, betel nuts, flowers, joss sticks, candle and coins.

The Loy Kratong ritual is a simple one. One needs only to light the candles and the joss sticks, make one's wishes and let it float away with the current of a river, a canal or the sea.

On that day, thousands of people will gather beside the water. With kratong in hands, they light the candle, put some coins in the kratong and silently make a wish, and carefully place their kratongs in the water and release them to the current. They watch intently as the float drifts silently downstream, hoping that the candle will not go out. Its flame is said to signify longevity, fulfillment of wishes and release from sins. Altogether it is considered a romantic night for couples or lovers. Couples who make a wish together on Loy Kratong are thought to stay together in the future.


http://www.thaiembassy.jp/culture-eng/loykratong/

Another currant bun gem

Website names gone wrong:

When URL's don’t turn out exactly as planned:

Mole Station Nursery plant-growers NSW =http://www.molestationnursery.com/

Who Represents – contact names for agents of actors =http://www.whorepresents.com/

Purely conjectual delights?

"Caucasian men tramping about with tiny Asian hookers dangling off their arms, like charmless bracelets." - Will Self.

THAT Sony Colour advert

I am not a designer, nor an ad. man (or a man at all in fact), but the Sony advert (Bravia) on tv at the moment is so breathtaking, such beauty without obtrusion truly worthy of note. Every time I see it I am mesmerised, it taps into that inner sense of magic, enchantment, wonder and awe. At heart I'm a hippy...love colour...love vibrant...become intoxicated by it, no choice but to smile.

"But when you get it right, you get it right. The goal at the beginning was to deliver a "really simple, visual celebration of colour".

"Set to the stripped-down acoustic soundtrack of José González' "Heartbeats", 250,000 'superballs' come flying, in slow motion, over the brow of a typical street in San Francisco, raining down on anything that gets in their way. And it was done without computer graphics."

If you want more go to: http://www.bravia-advert.com/commercial/ , and check out the pictures and flickr links...amazing shots!

Belguim Lay-bys- exercise extreme caution!

An amusing true belguim tale of some gorgeous folk I met:

Mr and Mrs Lovely were driving home after an evening at Jack's house and were feeling somewhat amorous. The road between Waterloo and their home was empty at this late hour of the night, and feeling spontaneous and impatient they pulled over into a lay-by. Both clambered out of the car and onto the bonnet...

Fortunatley only a mere 3 minutes later, (would no doubt have been worse say 10 mins later) a police car pulled up by their car, suspecting they were dealing drugs or some other socially unacceptable activity. Mr Lovely at this juncture had his trousers around his ankles, and ended up conversing with the officer as such. The officer apologised and explained his initial suspicions, and then gingerly informed them that he could see this was not the case. He did, somewhat kindly I feel, advise that perhaps they move on a kilometer or two since a number of dead and murdered bodies had been discovered in lay-bys in this area over the last few months! He then wished them a pleasant and enjoyable night and returned to his car, whilst Mr and Mrs Lovely cringed and giggled with embarrassment.

As a final farewell to the pair, the officer and his partner put the flashing lights on them, for a few minutes before pulling away (I s'pose perhaps this helped Mr Lovely to do his flies back up as he slipped back into this jeans)

Mr Lovely explaining to me how big he felt whilst chatting with officer ;)

Back...but hopefully not going backwards

Hurrah for the medium of computer-aided communication!!! Even more than usual, since I have been unfortunate enough as to have misplaced my voice somewhere for the past 8 days(terribly clumsy of me I realise). It's those Beligium germs...superhardcore!

So until this morning I have been confined to my boudoir keeping my mouth firmly shut, and indulging in Tim Burton dvd's and season 4 of 24.

At the point where I stopped sleeping for 20+ hours a day, I had a peculiar urge to watch ye olde childhood films, thought it'd make a nice pick-me-up. It didn't work out, but in the plan were: The Goonies (hey there, you gu-uuys), Labyrinth, The Last Unicorn and Princess Bride. Lil soft spots I have for all three, any further suggestions?

Don't ask! Tantric Waffle, Jack n moi do bruxelles.

Brussels

Brussels..not as in sprouts (which are so very worng), as in Bruxelles, Belgium.

Am breaking my winter hibernation (kinda like getting up for a pee in the night) to visit 2 of the testes who are currently natives in the land of waffles (more colloquially known as Belgium). Yes, superexcited...off to see cowboy tantric waffle, and beloved injun jack...yeee-haa!!...this Thursday. Jeez it's been quite a bitty since the 3 of us were together.

Slightly worryingly, I'm travelling by eurostar and am kinda excited about it (it's the excited bit that is worrying). You see, I am not, nor have I ever been, a british boy child...and I thought it was exclusive to such creatures (and spotters) to get excited about trains. This is ,on my behalf, an isolated incident however, so have decided not to be too hard on myself...;)

Shingles in a thai-western relationship.

Shingles... not as in the roofing sense, as in the adult chicken pox sense.

Poor West was itching and looking gross, but it all leads to an amusing story. West had this pain and then rash.. didn't know what it was...carried on working. Got worse... Anan (her ex now, but at the time her thai boyfriend) figures she was being a whinging cow, and gets fed up. After a week she had it looked at in phuket, was told that it is shingles, and then they tell anan what it is. Now he is all concerned and insists that they go and see his dad.... who apparently is what they call a home doctor.

At the house everyone is pulling up her shirt to see her rash, talking about it... but she doesn't have a fecking clue about what since the conversation is all in thai. Anan motions for her to sit next to his dad... he looks at the rash... gets closer (West thought to have another look)...... but no, he then spits this stuff all over her... for quite some length of time...all over her stomach and side. Unknown to her, he has healing powers and his spit combined with some leaves would apparently get rid of the shingles. Hmmmm.

West was told that she has to leave this spit/ leaf combo on till it dries and then repeat through the afternoon and night, and of course it should be done by anan's dad and his magic spit, however they had to leave. This meant she had the priviledge of anan spitting on her that night, since he may have some healing magic through genetics I s'pose.

Having your boyfriend gob over you 3 times a day is not the best for a relationship, and after that fist night West had had enough. Inevitable conclusion to story: Anan got pissed off because she no longer wanted him to spit on her anymore.

New Words

Bonsoir my pretties...thought I'd share some newish slang words that have amused my tiny lil mind:

• Crapweazel: idiot (quite like this one)
• Bitchcakes: crazy
• Roman: lavish (as in Roman Abramovich...love him)