10 minutes where I work

Ok, so I work night shifts with homeless men who are either referred through probation as ex-offenders, through mental health teams, rough sleeper services etc., and the majority of whom have substance misuse problems. This often leads to some funny, as in odd moments. For instance in the last 10 minutes, I was chatting to a chap who told my coat to wake up, "you alright under there mate?", whilst dunking his key into a cup of tea and licking it as if it were a biscuit...

Someone once told me in their deluded state that they controlled the price of cheese...and I would know if he liked me and trusted me next time I was at the supermarket by monitoring the prices thereof...